One of the main roles of the family courts in the UK is to resolve disputes about children when a relationship between parents – married or unmarried – breaks down. The child’s welfare always comes first when deciding any issues about their living arrangements, who they have contact with and their upbringing generally.

Out of court agreements and parenting plans developed through mediation and other forms of dispute resolution are strongly encouraged by the courts. Where agreement isn’t possible however, the courts will intervene and make a Child Arrangements Order. At all times the Courts are acutely aware of the need to protect children from being pressurised by either parent to take sides or make choices about where they should live. We outline how the legal system approaches issues relating to children below. If you have concerns about child arrangements or other family law matters, get in touch.

The Child’s Interests Come First

The family courts closely follow the framework of the Children Act, 1989 in cases when matters about children are being considered. Right at the start of the Act, in Section 1, the guiding principle is set out:

When a court determines any question with respect to the upbringing of a child… the child’s welfare shall be the court’s paramount consideration.’

The section also acknowledges that any delay in making decisions is likely to prejudice the welfare of the child.

In reaching decisions that are in the child’s best interests the courts have at their disposal the so-called ‘welfare checklist’ set out in the Act. Relevant considerations include:

  • The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned
  • Physical, emotional and educational needs
  • The likely effect on the child of any change in his circumstances
  • Any harm which the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering
  • The ability of each parent to meet the needs of the child

The list is not applied exhaustively in every case. It’s used flexibly by judges to reach appropriate decisions based on each child’s unique circumstances. In practice the approach of the courts to child arrangements has moved decisively in recent years. Instead of the traditional parent-oriented view, courts now take a much more child-centric approach when considering what kind of measures should be implemented after parents separate or divorce.

In each case Cafcass, the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service will be involved to some extent. A Cafcass caseworker liaises with the child and the family and prepares a report for the court to help it make a decision. The main role of Cafcass is to establish what arrangements are safest for the child and what is in their best interests. Above all, Cafcass is there to make sure the voice of the child is heard in the decision-making process.

Are Child Arrangements Always Decided By The Court?

No, and in fact parents are strongly encouraged to reach agreed parenting plans themselves. In almost all cases parents must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (a MIAM) to discuss the possibility of reaching an agreement about child arrangements before a court will entertain any application. In cases where there are concerns around child safety or domestic abuse, parents will be exempt from attending a MIAM.

The belief is that arrangements agreed privately – away from court – have a much greater chance of working out in practice than arrangements set out in an order handed down by a judge,

What Types of Order Can Courts Make?

If the MIAM and any subsequent efforts at mediation fail, either parent can apply for a court order to regulate child arrangements Section 8 of the Children Act. The following orders are available:

  • Child Arrangements Orders which can be ‘live with’ orders setting out who a child is to live with, spend time with or otherwise have contact with or a ‘spend time with’ order indicating what level of contact a non-resident parent or other person can have with the child
  • Specific Issue Orders –to deal with the child’s upbringing, including religion and education
  • Prohibited Steps Orders– prohibiting certain matters, notably removing the child from England and Wales

Involvement of Both Parents in the Child’s Life

Parents who separate will usually acknowledge that the involvement of the non-resident parent (the parent with whom the child doesn’t live) will benefit the child. Indeed child arrangements usually reflect this through private agreement or in appropriate ‘spend time with’ orders. Courts have, since the introduction of the Children Act, applied the ‘presumption of parental involvement’ on the understanding that a child will benefit if both parents remain involved in their life. In 2025 however the government announced that it intended to repeal this presumption. This is down to growing fears that assuming contact with both parents is always in the best interest of a child can actually be a factor in perpetuating abuse.

The law around the highly sensitive area of child arrangements is complex. We have touched on some of the main issues here. There is also a significant amount of information about family law and children on the Brookman blog, which we update regularly. We hope you find this and our other pages on child law useful.

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Children's Issues

The scenario below does not relate to any individual clients of ours but the facts and the outcomes relate to some similar experiences in our practice.

Scenario Analysis Example #1

The Scenario

Mr and Mrs H separated. Mr H moved a few streets away and their eldest boy (now 15) lived with him. The younger children (14 and 12) stayed with Mrs H but the children live near each other and attend the same school.

Mrs H remarried and wishes to move to her new husband's city. Mr H sought advice about residence of the other children. He told us the middle child wanted to stay at school with his friends.

Our Solution

There is no set age at which a child can "choose". Nevertheless in reality it would be hard for Mrs H to resist the 14 year old's wishes. We needed to be careful not to stress the children. Rather than issuing proceedingswe arranged mediation for Mr and Mrs H to discuss the issues.

We advised Mr H to be flexible regarding contact. They reached an amicable arrangement for all children to live with Mr H for the school week and half weekends; and flexible school holiday arrangements.

Henry Brookman Discusses: Childrens Issues

If you have questions, contact us now, we can help you.

Children's Issues FAQs

Here is a selection of common questions relating to how children are involved in and affected by the divorce process. If you have unanswered questions, please contact us using the form above or you can contact us here.

Who Can Apply For Child Arrangements Orders?

Either parent can apply for orders relating to children as well as anyone with parental responsibility for the child. Sometimes grandparents or other relatives ask us if they can apply for child arrangements orders. The answer is that they can but they need to clear an extra hurdle first by seeking the permission of the court to do so.

Can I Use Mediation To Settle Disputes About The Children?

Yes. Most child issues are settled through negotiation and mediation. Court is often seen as a last resort. The mediation process is less formal than the court process and many of our clients report that they find mediation less stressful than the idea of going to court. Agreeing arrangements also gives you more of a sense of control over the issues. And it’s possible to formalise anything you agree with your ex spouse through mediation by making the agreement part of a Consent Order.  Once you get this approved by a family judge it’s legally binding.

Do we have to go to Court to decide what will happen to the children?

No, in almost all cases this is not required. Typically, the parents agree and often formalise the arrangement with the assistance of their lawyer. Where parents agree there is usually no need for any court order at all. If the parents cannot agree it would then become a matter for the Court to decide.

Can I insist that I see my child on special occasions, such as birthdays?

Normally the non-resident parent will be able to agree to see their child on significant dates and occasions. This can either be agreed informally with the other parent but if there is a dispute then the non-resident parent could apply for a court order.

Can I take my child to live abroad after divorce?

Permission will be required from the other parent or via a court order. Taking your child abroad for longer than a holiday would be considered abduction and the other parent could apply to the Child Abduction Unit to have your child brought home.

What happens to step children regarding custody and maintenance?

If the step-parent has taken the role of parent during the marriage and their ex-spouse (the biological parent) is not able to provide for the child, the step-parent may then be required to pay child maintenance.  Whilst it is typical for the child’s biological parent to gain residence, this is not always the case. It will depend on how capable the parents are to provide for the child what is in the child’s best interests.

Does the CMS (formerly the CSA) have to be involved in deciding child maintenance?

No. Whilst you may use a CMS calculation to aid with deciding a maintenance payment figure, it is then common for a private maintenance agreement to be set up by your lawyers. The CMS or court do not then need to be involved. If required, 12 months from the agreement, the CMS can become involved if either party wishes it.

Can I change my child’s surname after divorce?

Changing your child’s surname would require the other parent’s written consent or a court order.

Will the family home be retained for the child to live in?

If it is in the best interests of the child to remain in the family home with one of the parents it is possible that the court will order the home to be retained for a set length of time.

Can I move with my child to another part of the UK?

If you are the resident parent, you do not need the other parent’s permission to move with your child within the UK. However, the other parent could request a court order preventing you from moving whilst the situation is looked at in more detail. In making a decision as to the child’s living arrangements, the court will always look first at what is in the best interests of the child.

Can I take my child abroad on holiday?

If you have a court order setting out that the child is to live with you then you do not need ask permission from the other parent to go on holiday abroad for up to 28 days. If you do not have a court order, you will require the permission of the other parent. If the other parent will not give permission, you can apply for an order to go on holiday with the child.

Will my ex-spouse having a new partner affect what contact they can have with our child?

Typically no. However, if you have good reason to be concerned about your child’s welfare with regard to your ex’s new partner, you could apply for conditions to be imposed upon the existing contact arrangements.

Can our child choose which parent they live with?

If the child is old enough and has sufficient understanding to state a preference, the court will take into account their wishes. It is however unlikely that the child will simply be asked to choose because it is an unfair question and the reasons behind a child’s answer may be mixed. The court will however also consider wider factors, including each parent’s ability to meet the child’s needs, the child’s safety and how the new change in circumstances may affect the child.

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About The Team

We are a specialist divorce and international divorce family law team, advising clients in the United Kingdom (specifically England and Wales) and throughout the world. We have a very people–orientated approach to working with clients. Henry Brookman has practised law for over 45 years, and our team has a wide range of skills and expertise. We are recommended by the Legal 500 and have been awarded the Law Society’s quality mark, Lexcel.

Partner

Philip Morton

Recommended by The Legal 500, Philip is an expert in all areas of family law, including domestic and international financial disputes, fraud and commercial dispute resolution.

Partner

Henry Brookman

With over 45 years' experience, Henry Brookman is the senior member of the team. He is described by The Legal 500 as ‘shrewd, savvy, sagacious and highly experienced’.

Partner

Natasha Slabas

Expert in all areas of family law, often involving cases that have an international element, including work in relation to financial settlements following divorce.

Partner

Mark Rennie

Mark is the Group Head of the Horsham Family Law team. He specialises in all areas of matrimonial law, including complex divorce and financial disputes, and is recommended by The Legal 500.

Partner

Nigel Winter

A highly experienced solicitor, Nigel has expertise in collaborative law, divorce, contested litigation, relationship agreements, and children matters. Nigel is recommended by The Legal 500.

Partner

Samantha Jago

Partner at our Guildford office and recommended by The Legal 500, Samantha has specialist expertise in divorce, children matters, complex international cases, and is a trained mediator.

Partner

Joanna Potbury

Family law specialist based in Brighton advising on divorce, cohabitation agreements, children, post-nuptial agreements, and domestic violence. Joanna is recommended by The Legal 500.

Partner

Kevin Danagher

Kevin specialises exclusively in family law, advising on all aspects of relationship breakdown, divorce, same sex marriage, marital agreements, and international family cases.

Partner

Ella Welsby

Known for her sensitivity and discretion combined with significant expertise, Ella advises on all family issues including high-value and multi-jurisdiction divorce and complex financial and children matters.

Partner

Gemma Garrett

Based in Horsham, Gemma is a specialist advising on all areas of family law including divorce and separation (often involving jurisdiction issues), complex financial matters, and children matters.

Partner

Alicia Cenizo

Alicia is a Partner in the family team and advises on all elements of family law, particularly private children work, including matters with an international element such as relocation.

Partner

Rachel Osgood

Rachel specialises in financial claims on divorce and separation with a particular emphasis on high value cases and those involving inheritances, family businesses and claims by adult children.

Partner

Nisha Tayal

With over 20 years of expertise in family law, Nisha specialises on all aspects of relationship breakdown and is trusted by clients for her discreet, tailored advice.

Family Director (filex)

Natalie Matthews Bunting

Natalie is a specialist in divorce and financial remedy, including high value cases involving multiple pensions, multiple properties and multiple businesses.

Senior Associate

Lauren Blythe

Lauren is a highly regarded specialist family law solicitor, based at our Guildford office. She advises on divorce, family finances, children matters, domestic abuse, cohabitee issues, and relationship agreements.

Senior Solicitor

Susan Hayes

Susan qualified as a solicitor in 1992 and is based at our Brighton office. She is a longstanding member of the Law Society Specialist Children Panel and Family Law Panel. Susan is also a trained Collaborative Lawyer.

Associate

Rachael Au

Rachael is a highly capable member of the family team in Brighton. She specialises in family law, advising on divorce, civil partnerships, financial matters, and children issues.

Associate

Alice Barrett

Alice advises and supports clients on a range of family law matters including divorce, separation, financial remedy, private children matters and emergency applications.

Associate

Amelia Groom

Amelia has experience across a full range of family matters, including divorce, complex disputes regarding finances that range from trusts through to cryptocurrencies, and arrangements for children.

Associate

Natalie Higham

Natalie is a Family Legal Executive who advises individuals on divorce, separation, financial remedies available to them on the breakdown of their relationship, and children matters.

Associate

Katie O'Kelly

Katie advises on a wide range of family law matters including co-habitation, divorce and separation, financial remedies, and private children law matters.

Solicitor

Sophie John

An experienced solicitor, Sophie advises on matters relating to divorce, financial separation in both marriages and cohabiting relationships and children arrangements.

Paralegal

Michelle Davies

Part of the Family Law team, Michelle supports on a variety of cases involving divorce, finances, children matters and day to day enquiries.

Paralegal

Isabelle Basson

Isabelle is responsible for following up day-to-day enquiries, administrative case management and generally supporting the Family team fee-earners.

Paralegal

Amelia Mahraj

Amelia is responsible, in her current role, for dealing with day-to day enquiries, administrative duties and supporting fee earners.

Paralegal

Aimee Atalay

Aimee provides dedicated support to the Family and Contentious Probate teams across a diverse range of matters. Aimee studied Law and Criminology at the University of Kent.

Paralegal

Izzy Minor

Izzy Minor is a Paralegal in the Family Team, supporting fee earners, and is a qualified Advanced CILEx Paralegal (MCILEx), holding a Diploma in Law and Practice.

Paralegal

Madison Bryant-Pollins

Madison provides dedicated support to the Family and Contentious Probate teams, including case management and the provision of clear, empathetic assistance to clients.

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Victoria Delatouche

Victoria is a highly experienced Legal Secretary and a long-standing member of the team. She provides secretarial support for the office.

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Michelle Louison

Michelle provides secretarial support to Henry Brookman. A very experienced family law secretary, Michelle has worked in law for over 12 years.

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